Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Oh man, I am way behind in replying my tags.



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I used to have this premonition that I would have to wait until I was legally 18 before being able to rent out Hard Candy but thanks to one very understanding mother (and after much debating), I got it from 7Frames.

Oh shit, it's everything I dreamed that it would be.

Ellen Page was my idol before, my now I wish that I could kiss her feet. The ground she walks on, I would stick my hand into the cement and sell it on eBay. When I first got to know about Ellen Page a year back before Juno got hyped up, I used to wax lyrical about what I used to know about her performance in Hard Candy.

But now that I know, I can't merely wax lyrical, I must flail and roll around and maybe get padded walls soon.

Arra was right (I wish that I was born two years earlier too) about Ellen. She's the perfect pseudo-psycho-cute-but-extremely-vindictive-imma-hack-off-your-balls actor to pull off the role.

The story itself is completely deranged, with Jeff, a middle-aged man meeting Hayley (Ellen), a fourteen-year old girl online. Hayley is mature and flirtatious in her ways and soon they meet up.

Jeff's creepy crawly lecherous ways are subliminal, as are Hayley's. And soon Hayley has got Jeff strapped into a chair and the lights and dim and ooooooooh the tables are tuuuuuuurned.

Hayley proves herself to be mentally unstable, out on her self-declared noble quest to rid the world of pedophiles. She reveals that she has stalked him, and is aware of his plight as a pedophile. Unfortunately, she starts on her quest with Jeff.

...Then she castrates him with a butter knife.

By then I had the blanket halfway over my head, not because it was visual ooky, but everything seemed so warped. The hunter had become the hunted and to not only did Jeff get caught, he got caught by a psycho chick. (Poor, poor man.)

By the time in which she wonders what she will do with Jeff's newly operated balls ("Shall I see how high they can bounce?" she says), and finally decides to grind one down the garbage disposal, I was whatthehell-ing to myself in the room.

No one likes spoilers, so I shan't reveal what happened (unless you ask, in which I will tell you in extremely lucid detail) in the end. But by the end of the movie, in which Hayley proves to be even more mentally damaged than I ever thought possible, I wanted to stand up and clap and do that 'FRRREEEEDOOOOOOM' crack dance we attempted to fit in for one of our stimuli for drama.

The plot itself was incomprehensible to a certain extent, but Ellen Page's performance was not. Her twists and turn in character (good vs. bad vs. crazy vs. hero vs. immachackoffyourballs) had me fooled so many times that I was ready to reach over into the screen and smack her face.




But I don't think I could bring to smack that face.


Also, poor Patrick Wilson, who played Jeff.






He has a cheekopek face. No wonder his balls got grinded, heehee :)





Okay school tomorrow! The midyears may end, but life goes on. Yey we're doing vaults for PE! :)



- Kris.